I have now been home for a little over a year. When I first came home it was hard, it was really hard. Yes, I missed the mission but I knew it was time to come home and I was at peace with that...for the most part. I missed the schedule and the people a lot. The hard part was figuring out real life again. It seemed so bizarre that "real life" something that I had first hand experience of for 20 years seemed so hard to get a grasp on after a short 18 months of impactful experiences. I made mistakes, failed at times (from my perspective), and cried. Even though this year wasn't all roses and chocolates like I may have thought it would be I learned so much about myself.
Kevin J. Worthen, the president of BYU, gave the inaugural speech soon after school had started and it became some very valuable advice as I embarked in my first school year back(my junior year, so I should've been a pro right?! sooo wrong). What I took away was that we are all going to fail. There are different types of failures, but there is no avoiding it! What matters is what we do after we fail. Do we learn? Do we accept it? Do we change? Is our resolve still there to change even if we make the same mistake over and over again. The only way I can possibly imagine finding joy in life amid all of these failures is understanding that God still loves us, this life is for learning and growing, and our Savior can and will help us. Grace is the enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts.
This is a part of President Worthen's speech that I really like, but you can read it here.
".... failing is a critical component of our eternal progress—our quest for perfection. And because of the Atonement we can—if we respond to failures in the right way—be blessed with a new kind of learning that allows our failures to become part of the perfecting process.
....Too often we ask the wrong question when we fail. We ask, “Am I good enough?” But the real question is, “Is God good enough?” Is He as good as He says He is? Can He really deliver on His promise that “all things” will “work together for [our] good”30 if we will trust Him and strive to do the best we can and keep going whenever we fall short?"
Isn't that advice just so perfect? That was exactly what my fresh post-mission, drowning little self needed, and I will probably read this more throughout the years.
Ok, just a little more rambling.
One of my favorite parts of my major is that I can make a gospel connection almost daily to what I am learning. The other day in one of my classes my teacher said, "learning is inherently risky" and how true is that!? For some reason that phrase struck a chord with me that day and I really liked it so I thought I would put it in here so I don't forget it:)
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